Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Week 1: Facing the Giant (reflection in the gym mirror)

Day 1: I won't lie. I was not rearing to go on this Monday morning. I woke up tired thanks to baby Rinks and his insistence on waking up at 4am but I reminded myself that perserverence is key. Well, that and I already posted my plan on a blog for everyone to see so to slack on day 1 would be pretty sad, even for me. My plan is to eat a diet following the blueprint of a lean protein, a starch, and a leafy green at each meal, all within 1,400 calories with one "cheat meal" per week (if you want details on my diet, let me know and I will be happy to bore you with my day to day meals). I also joined the gym (dom, dom, dom) where I am doing a weight training schedule 4 days a week (alternating muscle groups), cardio 2 days a week, and 1 rest day. I chose this because I really like weight training and really don't like cardio, so I figured I need to go with what I think I will stick with long term. So I started with shoulders/back/legs today and I was surprised that I was able to pick up where I left off before pregnancy, although things seem to be flapping a little more these days.

Day 2: This whole pressure cooker approach to reaching my goal seems to be working well for me. I haven't been tempted to cheat in a whole 48 hours! This, my friends, is a revelation. I am starting to cook more and this definitely helps with knowing exactly what you are eating. Word to the wise, do not wear sleeveless to the gym when you are just starting out because chances are you will do as I did tonight and completely focus on your back fat waving at you as you do chest fly's and be tempted to go home and eat 6 ice cream sandwiches. (Oh wait, is that just me?)

Day 3: I literally rolled out of bed this morning, unable to bend my legs or torso. But today is Ashley's (my husband) birthday and we are going out tonight, so the show must go on. In preparation for this, I kept my eating clean the whole day so I could have a little room to play for dinner- which I kept clean by ordering the shrimp skewers and broccoli (impressed? Me too). Confession: I had three... ok, four bites of his Brownie Obsession dessert but I consider this a victory as the old me would have taken it hostage. I didn't work out today because I didn't have time due to the birthday celebration, so I decided to make this day my "rest" day which worked out well since I can't move my arms. Flexibility, there's an App for that.

Day 4: I got on the scale this morning (against all the expert's advice) and I have lost 2 pounds! So what if it's water weight, or I can't walk without holding on to the nearest object; I feel like I just won the weigh-in on the Biggest Loser. Victory is Mine!! Tonight was a challenge as my friend asked me to dinner at a pizza joint. Oh what to do, what to do? She is a skinny bitch and ordered Fetteccine Alfredo (seriously?) and it took every fiber of my being not to dive face first into her plate and molest her meal right there at the table. Maybe I haven't evolved as far as I'd like to think. Anyway, I restrained myself and ordered a thin crust veggie pizza with a (tiny) green salad... all while fantasizing about her meal the whole time. Nope, definitely haven't evolved. I got back to my weight routine tonight at the gym where the florescent lights were very cruel to my arms.

Day 5: I am Miss Fitness 2010. Today, amidst the falling snow and sleet, I took my happy ass to the gym and worked out among the exclusive dedicated hard bodies. As it turned out, I was the only one there with sleeves or cellulite but I didn't care, I was high on my newfound discipline. A page has been turned people.

Day 6: What do you do when a huge ice storm comes into your town and traps you in your home? Apparently, if you live in my house then you eat pizza ALL DAY long and start drinking at noon. Needless to say, I fell off the wagon and landed on a large cheese pizza. But guilt is a useless emotion so I refuse to feel guilty about it and will just come back tomorrow with renewed motivation.

Day 7: Drum roll please... I am sitting here 2 pounds lighter than I was when writing you last week! A small victory in this journey to uncover the potential that this body is capable of and ultimately the change that we are all capable of.

Weight Loss to date: 2 pounds! Stay tuned for more to come...

Monday, January 25, 2010

You-Can-Change-Anything-In-60-Days Campaign

Those that know me know that I love change. Self Improvement, awareness, these are a few of my favorite things. So I am starting a movement- a You-Can-Change-Anything-In-60-days campaign that celebrates the ability to change anything you want. To get unstuck. So I have made my first goal a fitness one (because let's face it, I am shallow and vain) in which I will turn this flab into fab, and I will document it every step of the way for your enjoyment, inspiration, and my accountability. I will be completely honest with my stats, achievements, and shortcomings so as to make this process as authentic as possible. The start date is today, January 25, 2010 and will make my end date March 25, 2010. Will I be able achieve my total goal in 60 days? No, my ass is bigger than it appears. But the point is to establish a routine/lifestyle that will support my ultimate long term goal of being fit and proud of the skin I'm in. I will post new updates everyweek documenting the previous week and recording stats. If you are reading this, feel free to make your own goal (fitness or not) and join me on this blogging journey! So here we go... (deep breath)

Starting Stats:
Weight- 180
Chest- 44
Waist- 35.5
Hips- 45
Thighs- 26 (if your waist is, or ever has been this size; then you my friend, can suck it.)
Arms- 13.25

60 day Goal Stats:
Weight- 160
Chest- 40
Waist- 30
Hips- 40
Thighs- 23
Arms- 11

Pics will be coming soon... Be afraid, be very afraid.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Thirty, Flirty, and a little bit Dirty...

Well the day came and went, and just like that, I quietly slipped out of my 20's and into my 30's. And even though it's just another label, a silly little number; I couldn't help but reflect on where I've been and where I am at. I will admit it, for a few fleeting moments I mourned the loss of the irresponsibility and selfishness of my 20's and the reverie of taking the world by storm. After all, by this time I was supposed to be a top fashion designer with my own line of Jeans called Virtue (don't laugh, I was 2o) while married to Leonardo DiCaprio (in his Titanic days) with two model-like children running around at my Jimmy Choo encased feet as I balanced my life of power mogul, wife, and mother... all while keeping a perfect figure (because of course I would have my own trainer and chef). But the reality is I am a nobody by Hollywood's standards; the wife of a hardworking Mississippi boy, an employee of the Corporate world, and mother to the most beautiful little boy I could have imagined (at least I got that part right!) with dreams that I still haven't accomplished and bad habits I still haven't broken. And I am ok with that. Actually, I am more than ok with that. Because what I have learned in my 20's and will take with me into my 30's is that authentic relationships in your life is true fulfillment, that family is the key to happiness and total madness, and that best girlfriends will keep you sane.

So in honor of my favorite magazine, O, I have decided to write this next segment of
"Things I know for Sure."

1.) Cellulite is not the end of the world. As it turns out, confidence covers a multitude of sins.

2.) Trying to be perfect and not show your vulnerabilities makes you look like an ass. And nobody likes a big ass.

3.) Cursing actually relieves tension. (Go ahead, scream out the "F" word! Just not at your neighbor)

4.) Trying to change your spouse will not make you or them happy. Here's a hint: It's probably you who needs to do the changing.

5.) Accept people the way they are. You never know what somebody has been through, so try to understand.

6.) If you want to get your way, be KIND. Kindness always trumps a bad attitude. Nobody wants to help a jerk.

7.) It's not how much money you make, but how much debt you have.

8.) There is nothing worse than a know-it-all, so even if you do know it all; keep it to yourself.

9.) Having a child is a big (and exciting) part of your life, but it's not the only part of your life. So keep some of it for yourself.

10.) Life is not about making something of yourself, but rather getting over yourself.

11.) No matter what you do, or how you look; there is somebody out there that does it better and looks better doing it, so just do what you love and love yourself while doing it. On the flip side, there is probably someone who has it worse than you do, so stop complaining already.

And those, my friends, are words to live by. So here's to stripping away the old, and starting fresh with the new- a new sense of self, a new appreciation, and new hopes and dreams.

Happy 30th to me.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Aw Naw, they done did it now!

Just when I thought that Reality TV couldn't trudge any lower in our moral gutters (see: Jersey Shore, Every MTV show ever made, Real Chance at Love), ABC shows up in their media garbage truck and dumps "Conveyor Belt of Love" in our laps. Yes, you read that right. Living up to its name, 5 women ranging from Buxom Blonde to mediocre Girl Next Door line up in front of a conveyor belt with paddles in hand that read "Interested" on one side and, you guessed it, "Not Interested" on the other. And sure enough, they parade 30 different men out on a FREAKING conveyor belt (one at a time) for the women to choose like the Fresh Catch of the day. They can then "trade up" their catch for the next best man coming down the pike, literally. Of course, as if that is not degrading enough, ABC encourages the guys to wow the women with their own style and personality to which some interpret with a Speedo (there was no wowing going on there), a full on American Indian get up (this was just weird), and then the typical Nashville Singer-Songwriter-Badboy-Who-Really-Wants-To-Change (Gag-A-Maggot). After settling on their prize Hens (or Roosters in this case), the couples then set out on a date to find out more about each other... like their name and age (surprisingly, the couples didn't have much of a chance to talk beforehand seeing that their date was ON A CONVEYOR BELT). The only saving grace on this God forsaken show was the funny, incredibly average, chubby guy actually got the girl over the Bad Boy Singer proving that there may be a God after all, but even He has to be cringing.