Skinny Bitches

I recently went on Vacation to the beach with some family and friends. I wanted to go before I got too big and could have been mistaken for Shamoo the Whale and tranquilized right there on the beach. So on the trip down there I learned Mandi's life lesson #1486: Never travel more than 7 hours with two anorexic bitches while you are pregnant. Enter Dana and Holly- the skinny bitches- Dana goes DAYS between meals and Holly likes to run 13 miles and lift heavy objects for fun. The three of us leave Nashville around 3pm and head down to Orange Beach to meet up with our parents (about a 7 hour trip). I notice about 3 hours into the trip we haven't stopped, nor have I heard any mention of it. Even though I am getting hungry, I haven't said anything up to this point for fear of the glares I would receive from the front seat. So I am quietly sitting in the backseat looking for leftover crumbs between the seats and hoping that one of them might pipe in any minute and say that they are getting hungry... and then I hear this:

Dana (to Holly): Hey, there is an exit up ahead, you think I need to go ahead and get gas?

Holly: Yeah, that would be good. Then we won't have to stop the rest of the way, we can just drive straight through and get there about 10pm.

Dana: Sounds good to me. (They both give each other a satisfied look)

Me (or my hormones): Wait a minute, you two anorexic skanks. I realize that y'all can split a peanut and call it dinner for the night, but Mama needs to eat! So I am choosing to play the preggo card right about now and demanding that we pull into that local burger joint right up there and get something in my stomach STAT!

Holly and Dana: (with fearful looks in their eyes) Whatever you say, Mama. Whatever you say.

Mama: 1
Skinny Bitches: 0

Oh it is good to be me.