Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Parking Lot Chronicles

Funny things happen when you are sitting in the back of a Kohl's parking lot while pumping breastmilk- yes, this is what my life has succomb to. Since there is nothing to do but look out the window at the goings-on around you, that is what I did... and then I made up stories in my mind to go with what I observed. Behold how my sick mind works:

To my right, a middle-aged woman is cramming a candy bar in her mouth while subconciously looking around at voyers (a.k.a.- me), I suspect she is a closet eater and has food hidden in such places as her floor mat, panty drawer, and probably an urn on her mantle that she tells people holds the remains of her dead cat- who just died and has contributed to her emotional eating- and is now logging her 6th candy bar for the day only to bury the guilt by shopping... for shoes.

The couple to my left is sitting in the man's car while the woman's car is parked beside them which can only mean they are having an ilicit affair and these secret lovers are sharing their forbidden love... where else, the Kohl's parking lot, which is probably where they first met while he was looking for a nice suit and she was picking out a tie for her husband. The Shame of it all!

The man in front of me is vigorously cleaning the doors of his car with a Kleenex. Weird. This can only mean that he has just committed murder and is cleaning the evidence before strolling into Kohl's to buy a bedsheet to roll the body up in, which is more than likely in his trunk.

Meanwhile, I have my boob out in plain view with a suction cup attached to me looking like the prize cow at a county fair. So I ask you, who's the real sicko here?

Anyway, here is the latest picture of my little prize cow... ;)
(admit it, for a split second you thought you were about to see a picture of my boob didn't you?)


JuLi-ElLe said...

Yay for having the nerve to pump in the parking lot! I'm still trying to get used to breast-feeding while covered anywhere, much less pumping in a crowded parking lot with it all hanging out! Go girl! I'm sure that I'll get used to it as my little guy gets bigger but in the meantime I'm the girl parked in the rear corner looking around suspiciously making sure no one sees me. =)

mandi said...

It's funny how all modesty goes flying out the window after you have a baby. I guess after you have had your legs spread eagle in the air with 10 nurses around it doesn't really seem to matter anymore. :)